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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26882620">Never Thought</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChaoticMischief/pseuds/ChaoticMischief'>ChaoticMischief</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Voltron: Legendary Defender</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Other</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 20:47:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,034</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26882620</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChaoticMischief/pseuds/ChaoticMischief</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Did I delete this fic years ago after I had some bad experiences with the VLD fandom? Yes. Have I gotten over it because I still can't get over how they did Lotor dirty? Also yes, but it makes the perfect grounds for some decent angst if I do say so myself.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Lotor (Voltron)/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter One</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>All that (Y/N) had wanted was to get their PhD in astrobiology at the Garrison. They never thought they would be caught up in the rescue of the once missing Takashi Shirogane of the doomed Kerberos Mission. They never thought they would find a mysterious lion spaceship that brought them all the way across the galaxy. They never thought they would be caught in an intergalactic struggle against a tyrannical space dictatorship. </p>
<p>However, they also never thought any good would come out of this. They never thought they would befriend someone as funny and charismatic as Lance, someone as strong willed and rebellious as Keith, someone as brilliant and tech savvy as Pidge, someone as friendly and caring as Hunk, or someone so fit for leading this ragtag group of heroes as Shiro. They never thought they would meet Allura, who’s willingness to help was beyond admirable, or Coran, who seemed so much like everyone’s cool yet out of the loop uncle. They never thought they would find joy in the people that cheered for Voltron, even if (Y/N) themself never had a place in the limelight.</p>
<p>Instead, (Y/N) took in the role of Voltron’s medic. Taking care of everyone and making sure nobody overworked themselves in their new environment. They even learned a thing or two about medicines from the planets they would visit and amassed a large variety of concoctions compatible with the human body.</p>
<p>Sadly, all good things have to come to an end. After the battle with Zarkon, the whole team put all their efforts into trying to find Shiro. (Y/N) had been lucky enough to have met Shiro before the Kerberos Mission through Shiro’s former fiance, Adam. They would never be able to live with it if they came back to Earth without Shiro.</p>
<p>Another issue soon arose with Shiro’s disappearance. Team Voltron now had to decide who would become the new Paladin of the Black Lion. As they all were trying to decide, Lance and Keith got into another argument, a common occurrence by now.</p>
<p>“I’m being completely serious when I say, I do not want you to lead me anywhere.” Lance protested. </p>
<p>“I don’t want to be the leader!” Keith retorted, “That’s just what Shiro wanted!” His eyes widened as he realized what he said.</p>
<p>“What are you talking about?” Hunk asked, just as shocked.</p>
<p>“Nothing.” Keith responded.</p>
<p>“Shiro wanted you to be his successor didn’t he?” Pidge questioned.</p>
<p>“Well I never heard Shiro say that,” Lance butted in “and how convenient that you're bringing it up now, when Shiro’s gone.” </p>
<p>(Y/N) could say anything to lower the tension, Keith spoke up again. “You want the job so badly, you can have it.”</p>
<p>“Now hang on. I’ve called head from the very beginning.” Hunk stated.</p>
<p>“What about me?” Pidge complained. “I picked up on the radio waves that led us to Voltron in the first place.”</p>
<p>(Y/N) spoke up, beginning to grow frustrated from the continued argument. “Well with that logic, since I’m the one keeping you all alive and healthy shouldn’t I also be eligible for the mantle?” They meant it as a way for the others to see how ridiculous their bickering was but based on the rest of the teams’ silence, it seemed to infer the contrary.</p>
<p>“You do have a point… do you want to be the leader?” Hunk asked.</p>
<p>(Y/N) sighed in resignation. “I was trying to make a point, but no.”</p>
<p>“Hold your gazurgas, everyone!” Coran stepped in, “It’s not our decision to make. We must allow the lion to decide.” </p>
<p>(Y/N) nodded in agreement and Allura piped in. “Coran is right. We must all present ourselves to the Black Lion to see who will bear this glorious burden.”</p>
<p>Coran gave her a concerned look. “What? You, Princess?” </p>
<p>The younger Alten nodded. “My father created Voltron. How can I allow others to risk their lives in battle and not be prepared to do so myself? I must try.”</p>
<p>It didn’t take long for everyone to move to the Black Lion’s hangar. Allura was the first of them to try with no luck. After her, it was Pidge’s turn, which (Y/N) found a little amusing when they found out Pidge was too short to even sit in the chair properly. Hunk only had to be in there for a few ticks before deciding that the Yellow Lion was a much better fit for him. Lance spent the most time trying to convince the Black Lion, but in the end he failed as well.</p>
<p>“It’s useless.” Lance groaned. “The Black Lion hates all of us.”</p>
<p>(Y/N) gave him a comforting pat on the shoulder “At least it hates all of us equally.”</p>
<p>Allura looked to Keith, “Keith, the Black Lion hasn’t responded to any of us. You have to try.”</p>
<p>“Well (Y/N) hasn’t tried either! They should go first!”</p>
<p>(Y/N) sighed “I don’t think I have it in me to lead you all, but if it would make you feel better, I’ll try.”</p>
<p>As (Y/N) entered the Black Lion’s cockpit, they let out a breath they didn’t know they were holding in. (Y/N) made their way towards the chair in the center, thinking of the friendship they had with Shiro. They still couldn’t believe Shiro was gone again. </p>
<p>“I’m pretty sure you can hear me, and I know I’m not the one you want to pilot you, but I had to try.” (Y/N) let out a sad laugh as they continued to speak to the Lion. “I miss Shiro. We all do. He left some big shoes to fill for a leader.” Tears began to well in their eyes. “I know he wanted Keith to be the new leader, and I trust his judgment, but I don’t want anyone to feel like they have to be just like him and hurt themselves in the process.” (Y/N) quickly wiped the tears from their eyes. “All I ask is that you keep Keith safe.” With that, they exited the Black Lion with no response.</p>
<p>With no other choice, Keith entered the Black Lion. It wasn’t long before the Black Lion booted up, signaling its approval of Keith as its new Paladin. </p>
<p>He walked out and Allura congratulated him, “I’m proud of you Keith. I wish you were getting the job under better circumstances, but congratulations.” </p>
<p>He looked down. “No. I don’t accept this.” </p>
<p>Everyone gasped in shock. It took everyone’s convincing, but Keith was able to somewhat accept the fact he was the new Black Paladin in the end.</p>
<p>As everyone was throwing ideas on who would take Keith’s place as the Red Paladin, a distress signal sounded from their most recent allies. The paladins with their new leader in tow ran to their lions and (Y/N) ran to their lab, gathering various medical supplies that might be needed and a blaster, just in case push came to shove. They were headed to their transport pod, ready to launch should they need to.</p>
<p>After the initial chaos of the Paladin musical chairs, Lance had gone to the Red Lion while Allura took his former place as Paladin of the Blue Lion. (Y/N) smiled softly at the thought. Allura definitely fit as the newest Paladin. As (Y/N) sat to the side, listening in in the coms as assistance, they learned of the Galra Empire’s new leader, Prince Lotor, Emperor Zarkon’s son.</p>
<p>The fight was short and nobody was injured which made (Y/N)’s job easier. They walked over to the Blue Lions hanger, to congratulate Allura on the title and found Lance there. </p>
<p>“Saying goodbye to Blue?” (Y/N) asked. </p>
<p>Lance turned around with a smile. “Oh, hey, (Y/N). I guess you could say I am. I’m glad Blue chose Allura. She’s a good person and deserves it.” </p>
<p>“Thank you, Lance.” The two didn’t notice Allura had been approaching until she spoke up “Congratulations on being the Red Paladin as well.”</p>
<p>“Princess!” Coran spoke from the intercom. “The Black Lion is leaving the Castle!” </p>
<p>The three each held a shocked look on their faces, all silently asking the same question. “What the quiznak was Keith thinking?”</p>
<p>“Keith, where are you going?” Allura questioned. </p>
<p>“I put a tracker on Lotor’s ship.” He responded. “Tell everyone to get to their lions. We’re going after them.”</p>
<p>(Y/N) gave Lance and Allura a worried look before they each took off to their respective lions. (Y/N) back to their pod as well.</p>
<p>(Y/N) felt uneasy about this considering that three fifths of the team had just switched lions, but They kept their mouth shut, knowing that tensions were already high. Everyone was already tense with Keith’s new style of leading, and they didn’t want to add to the already high stress. (Y/N) kept enough distance so they wouldn’t be directly in the line of fire when the fighting broke out, but close enough they could rush to any of the Paladin’s lions if they were injured.</p>
<p>Soon after they approached Lotor’s ship, a single fighter emerged, putting everyone on the defensive. With Keith, Allura, and Lance not yet used to their lions, this single fighter seemed to outsmart them at every opportunity. (Y/N) even felt the need to move their pod further away to avoid any stray shots from the Paladins. </p>
<p>The wheels in (Y/N)’s mind began to turn and piece together the clues about the identity of this lone pilot. They rushed to open their communication to the Paladins. “Guys, I think this is Prince Lotor that we’re fighting! We don’t know what he’s fully capable of, so you need to be careful okay?”</p>
<p>“It’s fine, (Y/N)!” Keith snapped. “We can take him.”</p>
<p>After toying with the Paladins, Lotor retreated, but something seemed off to (Y/N). “Guys, I have a bad feeling about this. Maybe we should take a break and plan before we go back after him.” </p>
<p>“Not when we’re so close.” Keith insisted. </p>
<p>(Y/N) frowned. “Are you sure?” </p>
<p>“Yes. Now let’s go.”</p>
<p>They soon approached an unknown planet that Lotor’s ship seemed to enter without hesitation. </p>
<p>(Y/N) gulped and their hands began to sweat in fear. “I have a really bad feeling about this. I’m going to stay in the planet’s orbit. I don’t think my pod will be able to withstand that atmosphere for too long.” </p>
<p>“Alright. We’ll alert you if any of us need medical assistance while we’re in the atmosphere.” Keith responded, still determined as ever.</p>
<p>“Be safe.” (Y/N) tried their best to hold down their apprehension, silently begging to whatever cosmic power might be listening to keep their friends out of peril.</p>
<p>After almost half an hour of no contact with any of the Paladins, (Y/N) grew worried. They turned on open communications in their pod, changing the frequencies, hoping to find a signal to Team Voltron. </p>
<p>“Voltron, this is your medic. Do any of you copy?.... Team Voltron, this is (Y/N) asking if you need medical assistance, do you copy?” They growled in frustration at the overwhelming silence. “Come on, come on… Keith, Lance, Allura, Pidge, Hunk. Do you copy? Anyone please!” </p>
<p>(Y/N) frantically began to change the communication’s frequencies, hoping for a reply. Eventually, they made a connection to someone’s line, but definitely not one that they wanted.</p>
<p>“So you’re Voltron’s medic?” A low smooth voice addressed (Y/N).</p>
<p>“Quiznak.” They muttered and began looking for the most inconspicuous escape route.</p>
<p>“Now, no need to be frightened. I won’t attack a medic. However, by the tone of your voice, I can only assume you have an idea of whom you’re speaking with?”</p>
<p>“Yes. I’m speaking to Prince Lotor, right?” (Y/N) responded, crossing their fingers and hoping they were wrong.</p>
<p>Lotor chuckled “Correct. You’re more intuitive than I initially suspected. I wonder, have you now realized that this planet's atmosphere has jammed the Paladins’ communication? I wouldn’t expect to get any response from them.”</p>
<p>(Y/N) glared into space, nervously searching for the Galra’s fighter pod. “I swear, if any of my friends are hurt and I can’t get to them because of you, I will punch you right in your smug little face.” </p>
<p>Lotor laughed. “Once again, I’m surprised by you. You said your name is (Y/N) right? Then might I ask you, why aren’t you a fighter, (Y/N)? You certainly have the mettle to make a decent opponent.” </p>
<p>“I’m better at healing than hurting.” (Y/N) hated how they grew flustered at the prince simply saying their name. They should've never given their name away over an open communication line. “But that doesn’t mean I still won’t punch you if you give me a good enough reason. And right now, those reasons are just piling up” </p>
<p>“Well now. I didn't know you had it in you to continue to threaten me, or perhaps it’s all for show. But the intel I’ve collected on the Paladins of Voltron, yourself included, would certainly say otherwise.” Lotor stated in an amused voice. “You know, you could join the Galra Empire if you wished to. We could always use someone with your knowledge and tenacity.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I’m gonna have to decline your offer. I’d rather shoot myself than betray my friends.” (Y/N) retorted. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to try and contact my team to see if they need medical assistance.” </p>
<p>Just before they could change their communication frequency, they heard Lotor speak one last time.</p>
<p>“Until we meet again, (Y/N).”</p>
<p>“Yeah, right.” They scoffed, returning to their previous task.</p>
<p>After a few more doboshes of struggling, they saw Lotor’s ship exit the atmosphere. (Y/N) thought about how smooth and soothing the Galra’s voice had been when he spoke to them earlier. “What am I thinking? He’s the bad guy!” They chastised themself. </p>
<p>(Y/N) focused again, and noticed a fleet of Galra soldiers had arrived a bit too close to their pod for comfort. They reeled back, moving out of their line of sight while still searching for Voltron’s signal.</p>
<p>“(Y/N), can you hear me?” Allura’s voice finally broke the silence.</p>
<p>“Allura! Oh thank goodness you guys are ok. Listen up, a fleet of Galra ships just approached the planet.” (Y/N) responded, relieved to hear the Altean princess again. </p>
<p>“Thanks for the heads up” Keith responded “we’re coming up.” </p>
<p>It wasn’t long before the distinct silhouette of Voltron appeared from the planet’s atmosphere. The battle was quickly won by Voltron, but Lotor still managed to escape their grasp.</p>
<p>After the battle, (Y/N) decided to keep their chat with Lotor a secret. They hadn’t been told anything that could be used to Voltron’s advantage, and they didn’t want Keith to overreact to the situation. Besides, everyone was exhausted. They didn’t want to add a new concern that weighed them all down even more.</p>
<p>Lotor quickly managed to become quite the opponent to Voltron. He was far more charismatic than his father, making it harder to defeat him. His tactics were so different than Zarkon’s making figuring out his next move l near impossible. The fact he always seemed one step ahead didn’t help either.</p>
<p>(Y/N) didn’t have many more accidental chats with Lotor. On the few occasions they did, they always kept them brief and never gave away any tips that could even remotely help him in any way. (Y/N) knew it was irrational, but they couldn’t help but think Prince Lotor was going it on purpose now. He had to have known it was starting to get on their nerves. (Y/N) could never seem to get his voice out of their head. It was infuriating and had led to (Y/N) almost blowing up their lab in the Castle on several occasions when they dozed off, thinking about how deep and velvety Lotor’s voice sounded.</p>
<p>For a while, there seemed to be no news about Lotor’s plans after discovering the transreality comet. (Y/N) began to turn all their focus on helping other healers with refugees that came to Voltron for help. They were elated when the Paladins found Shiro and they had even got to see Matt after Pidge had found him. (Y/N) was always glad to see an old face, especially with all the chaos surrounding them.</p>
<p>It was easy to imagine (Y/N)'s surprise when the Castle received the news that, not only was Zarkon still alive, but Lotor had been declared a fugitive of the Galra Empire. Even after the Galra attack on Lotor, further information was scarce. (Y/N) didn’t know why, but a twinge of dread crept into the back of their mind at the lack of details on Lotor’s whereabouts and plans.</p>
<p>Then came the plan to capture Naxzela from Galra control. Shiro’s plan seemed so thought out that (Y/N) couldn’t help but think that something might go wrong. It seemed way too easy for taking back an entire third of the Galra Empire. Oh, how (Y/N) wished they hadn’t jinxed  it. They had been assigned to provide medical assistance to the Marmora on Senfama with several other coalition healers when the power to the Zaiforge cannon went down. That’s when everything in the plan went sideways.</p>
<p>(Y/N) watched in horror as the entire planet of Naxzela was turned into a weapon against Voltron. As Voltron was incapacitated, they silently prayed to whatever all powerful being that could possibly be out there to not let their friends die. They couldn’t stop Keith as he loaded onto a ship and set off for the main cruiser responsible for the planet’s detonation.</p>
<p>Allura had ordered an evacuation of all nearby planets, so (Y/N) began to prep all the wounded to board the ship to rendezvous with the Castle of Lions. They pushed all their building anxiety to the side and focused on helping their allies for escape. They tried their hardest not to think about the worst outcome, with some success.</p>
<p>As soon as they got everybody loaded, they turned their communications to the rest of the team. “All members have been evacuated from Senfama. Headed your way, Coran. Paladins, how are you holding up?” They asked. </p>
<p>“None of us are injured.” Shiro responded. “Take care of everyone else that’s injured first.” </p>
<p>“Roger that. Keith, what about your group?” </p>
<p>“We’re fine, (Y/N). Unless you can help us take down this cruiser there’s not much you can do.”</p>
<p>(Y/N) was satisfied with the team’s answers, so they returned their attention to the wounded on the ship. When they reached the Castle of Lions, they had the seriously wounded moved to the healing pods and set the other healers to take care of everyone else before meeting with Coran.</p>
<p>They watched helplessly as Keith’s group struggled to take down the cruiser. Naxzela was becoming more unstable by the second. Voltron wasn’t going to make it out on time. (Y/N) saw as Keith sent his pod straight for the cruiser’s shields.</p>
<p>Dread filled their heart as they opened their communication and began begging for Keith to stop. (Y/N) couldn’t hear anything anymore, not even their own words. They couldn’t lose one of their friends.</p>
<p>Before Keith’s ship could collide with the shield, cannon fire from another ship hit the cruiser dead on, penetrating the shield. Naxzela returned to normal stability and (Y/N) let out a shaky breath of relief, the tears they had held back welling in their eyes. </p>
<p>“Nice work, Keith!” They faintly heard Shiro praise. </p>
<p>“It wasn’t me…” Keith responded.</p>
<p>An all too familiar voice, still as charming as ever, spoke up, “Attention, Paladins of Voltron and rebel fighters. I know we’ve had our differences in the past, but… I think it is time we had a discussion.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Please don't be too harsh on my writing. I originally wrote this fic after season six was released and I haven't even looked at it since I originally removed it. It's just been sitting in my Google Drive all these years. I'm still going through it and revising where I can before I post new chapters. If y'all see anything that I can improve on, please tell me, but don't be rude about it. I haven't properly written anything in a while.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter Two</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Paladins of Voltron were still unsure if they could trust Lotor. Up until now, he had been one of their main enemies. Were they expected to just forget everything and accept Prince Lotor with open arms? Apparently, yes. The team had begrudgingly allowed Lotor to help in the defeat of Zarkon under certain conditions, the main one being he must be kept in a cell to ensure he couldn’t attempt to harm anyone or go behind their backs to betray Voltron. Even with those precautions, the only thing that kept everyone from launching the prince into a black hole was the information he offered.</p><p>(Y/N) took responsibility as Voltron’s medic to make sure Lotor remained healthy while he was staying in the Castle. Even then, (Y/N) remained very guarded around him. After all, they had never seen him in person. Up until now, Prince Lotor was just an irritable yet charismatic voice that always found a way into their head. He may have saved everyone from the Naxzela incident, but he was still smart enough to outsmart Voltron at any given chance. Who knew what he was fully capable of?</p><p>It was safe to say (Y/N)’s first in-person interaction with Lotor was very strained. They didn’t have a chance to see Lotor, let alone speak with him, after his initial surrender to the Paladins, but they did get a chance later that evening.</p><p>(Y/N) walked down to the lower level of the Castle where Lotor was being held. They gripped the tray of food tightly in their hands. What would they say when they got to the cell? “Hey, I know you’ve put my friends' lives in serious danger on multiple occasions but you have a really nice voice. Anyways here’s your food. Later.”... it would probably be better if they just didn’t talk to him.</p><p>The doors to the elevator opened up, leading directly to the cell Lotor was being held in. (Y/N) took a breath and looked down at the floor as they approached, repeating their silent mantra to just give Lotor his food, check his vitals, and leave. Easy as pie.</p><p>“Here’s your food. I’ll also need to check your vitals to make sure you don’t get sick while you stay here.” (Y/N) slid the tray through a small opening in the glass. They pulled out a scanner, almost reminiscent of the touchless thermometers from Earth.</p><p>Lotor remained where he sat at the back of the cell. “So, this is what you look like, (Y/N). It’s nice to finally meet you face to face, though I would have preferred more amicable circumstances than this.”</p><p>(Y/N) glanced up from their monitor, skepticism written plainly on their face. “And what exactly would those circumstances have been?”</p><p>“I always hoped to form an alliance with Voltron.” Lotor moved to grab the tray of food.</p><p>“You know, somehow I doubt that.” (Y/N) kept their response short, trying to end this interaction as soon as they could.</p><p>“If I truly wished you harm, I could have easily left you all to be destroyed by the Galra Fleet at Naxzela.”</p><p>(Y/N) paused. He wasn’t wrong. Their scanner beeped, signaling it was finished gathering data. “Your vitals appear to be fine. I’ll be back tomorrow with your meal.” They turned to leave, but paused, against their better judgment. “And while I still don’t trust you… thank you for saving us back there.”</p><p>The days seemed to go by like clockwork. (Y/N) would eat breakfast with the team, head to give Lotor his meal, take the empty dished from his last meal back with them as they headed to continue their day, have dinner, bring another meal to Lotor, so on and so forth, and check the Galra’s vitals at least once a week. Lotor always tried to make small talk. (Y/N) supposed that it must be at least somewhat lonely since the only time Lotor was able to talk to anybody was when (Y/N) would check up on him or when Shiro and Allura went to him for his intel on the Galra Empire. (Y/N) couldn’t help but make their conversations longer with each trip they made. Slowly but surely, they warmed up to Lotor, finding enjoyment in his company.</p><p>(Y’/N) had joined Allura and Shiro to visit Lotor after Voltron’s most recent success in taking out the moon of Tragoch. They really didn’t see why they had to keep Lotor in an isolated cell anymore. They had no idea if Galra psychology was similar to human psychology in regards to isolation, but they had brought up the potential impact of this with the other members of the team. Perhaps that was why no one seemed too perturbed that they were spending more time down there with Lotor in the first place. </p><p>The trio approached the single cell where Lotor was sitting patiently, waiting for them to question him. “Your intel checked out,” Shiro stated</p><p>“You still feign surprise.” Lotor replied, a confident smile on his face “All of the information I’ve given, proven correct. Every target I’ve provided, easily dispatched. And yet you still look at me-”</p><p>“As if you were the leader of the most bloodthirsty race of murderers this universe has ever known?” Allura cut him off.</p><p>“Can people not change?” Lotor questioned “Is it so hard to believe that I wish to return the Galra Empire to a bygone era of peace?”</p><p>Lotor paused for a moment before continuing, “Our fathers were friends once, long ago. There must be hope for us.”</p><p>Shiro stared at him with indifference “I guess we still need convincing.”</p><p>“The facts speak for themselves.” Lotor insisted. “The Galra Empire is completely reliant on quintessence. Serve that need peacefully, and you have a complete paradigm shift, a new dawn for the old empire.”</p><p>Allura looked at him skeptically. “And you're the man to make this happen?”</p><p>“My plan from the beginning has been to find a way to harvest quintessence without resorting to the barbarism of the Komar. Extracting quintessence from entire planets at the cost of every living thing? I think not.” He persisted.</p><p>“And your solution was to send Voltron to do your dirty work.” Allura glared at him.</p><p>“Only Voltron could retrieve the trans-reality comet.” Lotor reasoned. “So, yes, I’m afraid I had to be a bit…  duplicitous in effecting its retrieval.”</p><p>“But if the Paladins were killed, that would be fine for you, too.” Shiro spoke up.</p><p>Lotor looked slightly hurt by his words. “It was a calculated risk, I admit that. But I knew they would come through without a scratch. And since recovering the comet, I haven’t been in the least bit aggressive.”</p><p>“What about your generals?” Allura asked</p><p>“A simple misunderstanding.” He replied. “I had no idea our paths would cross in the Ulippa System. What would I gain by fighting you? My sole focus has been finding a way to enter the zone between realities.”</p><p>Allura furrowed her eyebrows. “Sounds like you are your father’s son.” </p><p>(Y/N) frowned at her words. From their past conversations with Lotor, they had gathered that this was very much a sore subject for him. “Allura, please don’t-”</p><p>It was a bit too late for them to try and de-escalate the tension.“It was your father who led the scientific exploration that discovered quintessence. An exploration, I might add, that resulted in the creation of Voltron.” Lotor snapped. “This isn’t a zero-sum game. Meeting the needs of the Galra Empire means bringing peace to the universe. That is the future enlightenment brings upon us, one of prosperity for all…”</p><p>He paused and collected himself. “I have saved your lives and the lives of all your comrades. I have given you target after target in the Galra Empire, and all of them have been dismantled or destroyed at no cost of life to you. All I asked is to be judged by my actions rather than your preconceptions of my race.” He looked at Allura, pointedly. “If that is beyond you, then perhaps you should just finish me and get it over with. Clearly, Princess, you are not ready to end this war.”</p><p>(Y/N), Allura, and Shiro all shared a look before Allura turned to leave, visibly upset at Lotor’s words. Shiro followed her, concerned. </p><p>The Black Paladin paused and turned to (Y/N) “Are you coming?”</p><p>They shook their head. “I’ll be up in a few minutes. I have to check Lotor’s vitals for the week.”</p><p>Shiro nodded. “Alright. Just don’t stay down here too long. If he tries anything-”</p><p>“I know. Don’t worry about me Shiro. I know what I’m doing.” They reassured him.</p><p>(Y/N) turned back to Lotor who had a curious smile on his face. “Didn’t you check my vitals yesterday?”</p><p>“Technically, yes. But I don’t think Shiro and Allura need to know that right now. Besides, it’s kind of nice to just talk with you every now and then.”</p><p>“Really? Wasn’t it only a few quintants ago that you wanted nothing to do with me?” A small laugh escaped his lips.</p><p>(Y/N) shrugged. “People and opinions change. And it’s not like you’ve done anything since you’ve been here to make me not trust you.” They paused for a moment. “The main thing I wanted to say was I’m sorry for what Allura said just now. I can tell that it’s not a good subject for you”</p><p>Lotor looked caught off guard at their apology. “It’s alright. You don’t need to apologize for that. To be quite honest, I’m more used to it than you might believe.”</p><p>“If you say so. But I still think she crossed a line with that. Anyways, I should probably head back. I have some work that I need to do. I’ll be back to bring you some dinner later.” (Y/N) gave Lotor a small wave and headed back towards the elevator.</p><p>The rest of the day went by as usual. The team had received information from the Blade of Mamora and Keith that their covert missions had gone by without any issue. (Y/N) looked over medical information from other groups in the coalition, adding anything new to their notes. As per usual, they headed back down to Lotor’s cell with his dinner, along with some sweets that Hunk had made earlier that day.</p><p>It wasn’t long before Voltron was ready for a new mission, wanting to make sure they did as much as they could before the Galra Empire changed protocol to counter the team’s recent string of successful missions. This time, it was a lead on Pidge and Matt’s father, Sam Holt, but there was no luck.</p><p>While the rest of the team tried to figure out their next move now that it was likely the Galra Empire had caught on to them, (Y/N) was once again chatting with Lotor when they heard an announcement from the overhead. They said goodbye to Lotor and headed back up to talk to everyone else. Were they ready for a mission they might need medical support on? Did they have new information on Zarkon’s plans?</p><p>When (Y/N) got to the control room, there was an eerie tension among the group. They paused for a moment, looking at everyone with unease. “What’s going on?”</p><p>“We have new information on Commander Holt.” Shiro replied. “Zarkon has him. He says he’ll release him if we hand over Lotor.”</p><p>(Y/N) felt as if ice were running through their veins. “We can’t just hand Lotor over to Zarkon. There’s no way it isn’t a trap.”</p><p>“We don’t have a choice.” Shiro sighed. “This is going to be the only chance we have at retrieving Commander Holt.”</p><p>“That doesn’t mean we should just give him Lotor without question!” They persisted. “You know Zarkon won’t play fair.”</p><p>“(Y/N), this is my dad we’re talking about!” Pidge snapped at them. “We can’t give up our only chance to get him back!”</p><p>“I know that Pidge, but this is a bad idea. We know that Zarkon isn’t above lying to us. For all we know he might even be lying about having Commander Holt in the first place!” (Y/N) began to raise their voice. This wouldn’t end well and clearly everyone had to know it.</p><p>“Pidge, (Y/N)! That’s enough. We’ve already decided what we’ll do. We’re going to give Lotor up once we’re sure it isn’t a trick.” He tried his best to calm them down.</p><p>(Y/N) looked dumbstruck.“So you guys are just making important decisions without me? Do you guys even consider me part of the team anymore?”</p><p>“You are part of the team. But we need to get Commander Holt back. And if we play our cards right, we can get Lotor in control of the Galra Empire and have an alliance with him. This war is almost over.” Shiro put his hand on their shoulder. “Can you at least tell Lotor about our plans? I’m sure he’ll take information on the plan better from you.”</p><p>(Y/N) looked down at the ground, knowing that this argument wasn’t going to get them anywhere. “Fine. But I’m going with you. You’ll need someone to check on Commander Holt’s health anyways.”</p><p>They went down to Lotor’s cell, pushing their personal feelings to the side. They didn’t want anybody to see them so upset over this, especially not him.</p><p>That’s how (Y/N) found themselves in the back of the pod with Shiro, Pidge, Matt, and Lotor. This felt wrong. Lace was right when he called this a deal with the devil. Everyone knew that this had to be a trap. Why should they trust Zarkon? This was a terrible idea.</p><p>(Y/N) stayed in the pod with Lotor while the others got out. They kept their gaze locked on the ground, trying to keep their emotions in check.</p><p>“You still seem to be troubled by this arrangement.” Lotor pointed out.</p><p>“Who wouldn’t be.” (Y/N) shot back, more upset than they meant it to be. Their stare softened a bit “I’m sorry for snapping at you. It’s just that I don’t like this. It’s too risky on both ends.”</p><p>“I understand what you're saying.” Lotor spoke with an unwavering voice. “But I assure you, I will not be taken by my father so easily.”</p><p>(Y/N) gave Lotor a weak smile. “I hope you’re right about this too.”</p><p>“(Y/N), bring Lotor out.” Shiro spoke through (Y/N)’s headset.</p><p>They took a deep breath, “Are you sure about this, Shiro?”</p><p>“Yes. He has Commander Holt.” Shiro responded.</p><p>“Alright.” (Y/N) opened the pod doors and led Lotor out where they faced Zarkon along with Lotor’s old generals</p><p>“Send us Commander Holt.” Shiro demanded.</p><p>Zarkon was silent for a moment. “Release him.” He ordered the generals.</p><p>“Move.” Ezor told Commander Holt in a bored voice.</p><p>As Commander Holt walked closer to the group, Shiro signaled for Lotor to move forward as well. He complied and walked away from the others. (Y/N) felt their stomach tie in knots, something was off.</p><p>“Stay alert.” Shiro muttered. “If Zarkon’s going to try something, now would be the time.”</p><p>As soon as Lotor and Commander Holt passed each other, Pidge bolted towards her father, Shiro calling after her. She leaped towards him to hug him, only to go right through him. (Y/N) knew something was up. Zarkon sent a hologram as a decoy. The real Commander Holt was forced into the open by another one of the Generals.</p><p>Pidge’s face contorted with anger. “No! No, we had a deal! We had a deal! Give me my father!”</p><p>“If you want this earthling returned alive, you will forfeit Voltron to me immediately!” Zarkon demanded.</p><p>(Y/N) helped Matt grab a hold of Pidge, and the two held her back from running forward. “No! No! We have to get dad!” She yelled.</p><p>Matt looked at Shiro expectantly “Shiro?”</p><p>“No.” He said “Hold your positions til the time is right.”</p><p>Zarkon grew impatient. “Bring the Lions, now!” </p><p>There was a sudden commotion behind the Emperor, and all eyes were on Lotor. He had freed himself from his cuffs and lunged to attack his father, wielding the Black Bayard, to everyone but Shiro’s surprise. So that was his plan.</p><p>Zarkon slid backwards a good few feet. “So, the time has come.” He rasped out. “This ends today.”</p><p>(Y/N) watched as the two fought. They snapped out of it when Shiro, Pidge, and Matt ran to retrieve Commander Holt. They followed after the three, hand on their blaster, ready to fight. (Y/N) may not be the best at it, but they’d be damned if they didn’t try to help.</p><p>(Y/N)  stayed towards the back so they didn’t get in the others’ way, avoiding Ezor’s graceful strikes and Zethrid’s fierce blows. As soon as they saw an opening, they rushed to free Commander Holt. However, with all of the generals fighting, no one was left to pilot the ship as it went into a free fall. Gravity began to give out in the ship as the fight continued on.</p><p>Commander Holt moved to steer the ship, unaware of Pidge barreling by, knocking her father out of the way in the process. (Y/N) maneuvered their way to the controls and pulled up on the steering, desperate to get out of the free fall. “Hold on tight guys!” They continued to raise the shuttle to a steep incline as Pidge opened the bay doors, sending the generals  falling out of the shuttle. They evened out the incline, bringing the shuttle to a steady glide.</p><p>(Y/N) let out a relieved laugh. “Well that was certainly fun.”</p><p>“The shuttle is clear.”Shiro announced to the rest of the Paladins.</p><p>(Y/N) sighed before they realized something. “Wait. Where’s Lotor and Zarkon?”</p><p>They heard a loud crash in the distance and looked to the side of the shuttle, where large clouds of debris piled up. They had to get Lotor out of there as soon as possible. They turned the shuttle towards the site as fast as they could. </p><p>When they got there,the Lions opened fire on Zarkon, drawing his attention away from Lotor. As they continued to fire, Zarkon aimed his cannon right at the shuttle. (Y/N) tried to steer the ship away, but it moved too slow. They wouldn’t be able to get out of range in time.</p><p> (Y/N) closed their eyes and waited for the end. A loud electric whir rushed by, but there was no impact. (Y/N) opened their eyes and looked in shock. The blast missed the ship. Lotor saved them, and Emperor Zarkon lay dead at his feet.</p><p>(Y/N) landed the shuttle and rushed over to Lotor. He was holding his side in pain. </p><p>“Let me help you.” (Y/N) draped his arm around their shoulders, letting him use them as support.</p><p>“I’ll be fine. You don’t need to help me.” Lotor tried to brush (Y/N) off, but they didn’t budge.</p><p>“You’re hurt. I’m getting you to my lab once we get back to the Castle. No if, ands, or buts.”</p><p>(Y/N) glanced back at where Zarkon lay. The glanced inquisitive at the Black Bayard still in his grip. It looked… normal. Every other time they had seen him hold it, it looked warped in a certain sense. Hadn’t it also looked like that when Lotor was wielding it? (Y/N) put the thought in the back of their mind. That could wait for later. Right now they had to get Lotor some medical attention and check Commander Holt’s health.</p><p>After boarding the Castle, (Y/N) brought Lotor back to their lab, ignoring Lotor’s own protests that he was fine. They scanned him for any physical injuries.</p><p>“You have some bruised ribs and some surface level cuts, but there’s nothing that needs you to be put in a pod. I’ll give you some painkillers to help with the bruising.” They stated.</p><p>“I believe I tried telling you that I was alright earlier.” He responded, taking a sharp breath at the pain from his chest.</p><p>(Y/N) sighed, and grabbed one of the containers from a nearby drawer, handing Lotor a few painkillers and a glass of water. “I know, but I just needed to make sure. Besides, can’t I at least worry over you a little?” They tried to get Lotor to crack a smile, but with no luck.</p><p>(Y/N) hesitantly placed a hand on their shoulder. “I also need to say thank you. You saved all of us back there. And what you did couldn’t have been easy.”</p><p>Lotor shrugged and looked away from (Y/N). “It was either I killed him, or he killed all of us and won.” His voice was completely flat. “I had no other choice.”</p><p>(Y/N) stayed silent for a moment, not sure what to say, if they should say anything at all. They tilted their head down, trying to get him to look at them. “I know you didn’t have any other choice, but that doesn’t change the fact of what happened. It’s okay to not be alright right now.”</p><p>Lotor looked at them with a sad smile. “There’s no use in being upset. This war isn’t over yet.”</p><p>(Y/N) knew when to stop pressing the issue. “Alright. But just know that after knowing you for this long, I see you as a friend.” They wrapped their arms around Lotor in a loose hug. “I’m always here if you need someone to talk to. About anything.”</p><p>Lotor’s eyes widened, tensing up at the initial contact of the hug. It didn’t take long before he gave in, hugging (Y/N) tight, much to their surprise. His head was resting somewhat on top of theirs, only slightly to the side.</p><p>(Y/N) felt their heart beating loudly in their chest. If they focused enough, they could also feel Lotor’s heartbeat. It was just slightly different from a human heart, yet (Y/N) found it oddly comforting.</p><p>Lotor was the first to break the comfortable silence built around them. “Thank you for being the first one to trust me. I know you have plenty of reason to distrust me, yet you don’t.”</p><p>“Of course,” (Y/N) gave Lotor a small smile “I consider you part of the team now, even if the others might take a little longer to do so.”</p><p>The two broke away after a few more moments. Lotor smiled down at (Y/N), and they could feel their heart, which only a few moments ago held a steady beat, skipping as they quickly looked away from Lotor.</p><p>(Y/N) cleared their throat nervously. “I guess I’ll talk to the others and see what’s going on.” They walked out of their lab, their face slowly warming. “I should probably also talk to the others about not holding you in a cell anymore. It’s gotta have gotten boring being down there all the time with no company.”</p><p>“Would you like for me to accompany you?” Lotor asked, standing up from his seat. “I don’t think the Paladins will be quite as lenient as you about something like this. Hopefully if I’m somewhere they can see, it will put their minds at ease”</p><p>“That would probably be a good idea.”</p><p>It took some convincing on (Y/N)’s part, but after some discussion with Allura and Shiro, Lotor was allowed to have more access to the Castle. This was indeed going to be a new start for everyone.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter Three</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After Zarkon’s Death, the Castle had taken respite on Olkarion, and the days went by in a haze. Everyone seemed to have so much work to do. Matt and Pidge were making sure their father was recovering, Allura and Shiro were discussing possible plans with the coalition members on the planet, and Lance and Hunk were spending their time training. (Y/N) helped out where they could, but most of their time was spent trying to keep an eye out for Lotor. This proved to be easier said than done. It was almost as if the Galra prince was avoiding everyone. (Y/N) could understand why, but the idea that Lotor was purposefully keeping his distance still stung. </p>
<p>It didn’t take too long before Allura had called for everyone to meet her in the control room. All of the Paladins, Coran, and (Y/N) waited for the doors to open. On the other side, Allura and Lotor stood, waiting for the others.</p>
<p>Lance had jumped a little in surprise before trying to regain his cool cover. “Look. It’s Prince Lotor, just hanging out on the bridge.” There was an obvious unease in his tone.</p>
<p>“Guess this is a thing that’s happening.” Pidge remained impartial.</p>
<p>Coran just shrugged. “I suppose we’ll have to get used to it- like my Zarbloovian intestinal eel.” He patted his stomach for emphasis, to which a small screech resounded. “Easy fella.”</p>
<p>(Y/N) gave Coran an unnerved stare. “Are you sure that’s healthy for you, Coran?”</p>
<p>“Of course it is! Everyone knows that Zarbloovian intestinal eels don’t harm their host at all! In fact, they can be quite beneficial. I can probably find some old records on the little buggers if you want.”</p>
<p>“That’s gonna have to wait.” Shiro stopped the conversation in its tracks. He walked further into the room. “What’s going on, Lotor?”</p>
<p>All eyes were on Lotor as he spoke. “The death of my father has created a power vacuum within the Galra Empire. The most formidable Galra leaders will gather for what is called the Kral Zera sometime in the next two days to decide who will take the throne. We must be there.”</p>
<p>There was a small pause as everyone processed the information.</p>
<p>Lance was the first to speak up. “So, you want us to fly you into the middle of a meeting with all of the most powerful Galra leaders?”</p>
<p>“Lotor, we appreciate all that you’ve sacrificed, but this sounds far too dangerous.” Allura furrowed her brows.</p>
<p>“We’ve been in more dangerous situations with much less to gain.” Shiro insisted. “Putting Lotor on the Galra throne is what we’ve been discussing.”</p>
<p>Pidge spoke up. “Yeah, but no one told us that would mean flying into a war zone.”</p>
<p>‘We can’t plan an operation this important so quickly.” Allura kept her stance.</p>
<p>“We don’t have a choice.” Shiro held fast as well.</p>
<p>“I’m with Allura.” Lance stepped in. “We need time to think this over.”</p>
<p>“They have a point, Shiro. We know having Lotor on the throne is the best course of action, but we can’t risk making any mistakes on this.” (Y/N) stood next to Lance as they spoke.</p>
<p>“Lance, (Y/N), this is not your call.” Shiro brushed the two of them off and the two looked at him astonished. (Y/N) started to feel a small twinge of anger bubble up in their chest. They were tired of being brushed off.</p>
<p>Shiro turned his attention back to Allura. “The Coalition wouldn’t be where it is right now without Lotor. We need to listen to him.”</p>
<p>“Well I’m with Allura, too.” Pidge responded. “This is too dangerous to pull off at the last minute”</p>
<p>“Agreed.” Coran said. “So it looks like it’s five-to-two, in the Princess’s favor.”</p>
<p>Shiro began to grow aggravated. “Look, this isn’t a vote. I’m the leader of Voltron. I’m making this decision.”</p>
<p>“Like when you armed Lotor with your bayard without consulting the rest of us?” Allura confronted him.</p>
<p>“That’s right. Making that decision resulted in the removal of Zarkon.”</p>
<p>“You put the entire operation in jeopardy! Not to mention some of our lives!”</p>
<p>“I put an end to Zarkon’s reign. Now is the time to finish the job.”</p>
<p>Lance stepped in between the two. “Shiro, we’re all on the same side here-”</p>
<p>“I told you to stay out of this!” Shiro lashed out at the Blue Paladin.</p>
<p>(Y/N) felt that anger that had bubbled up begin to boil over. “Hey! You don’t just get to yell at him like that! We’re supposed to be a team which means we all get a say on what happens.” They moved to shield Lance.</p>
<p>“We are a team.” Shiro implored, keeping his calm even as (Y/N) berated him.</p>
<p>“Then let us make decisions as a team!” (Y/N) was exasperated. “At first I thought it was just me that wasn’t included in any of these ‘team decisions’, but know I can see that you just don’t consult anybody anymore!”</p>
<p>“Well it looks like I’m the only one who can make the hard decisions around here! Sometimes small sacrifices have to be made.” Shiro retorted.</p>
<p>“You mean like the Kerberos Mission? Tell me, what were the sacrifices for that?” (Y/N) knew they struck a nerve from the look on Shiro’s face, but they were too heated to stop now. They continued to move until they stood directly in front of Shiro, their gaze filled with a cold anger.</p>
<p>“That was a completely different situation, and you know it!” Shiro faltered.</p>
<p>“Is that what you’ve been telling yourself? Do you have any idea how all of your friends and family felt when you left?”</p>
<p>“We were kidnapped by the Galra Empire! Do you think I wanted to leave Earth behind?!”</p>
<p>“(Y/N), perhaps you should calm down-” Someone put their hand on (Y/N)’s shoulder, but they couldn't tell who, nor did they care.</p>
<p>“You call yourself a leader and claim to be responsible, but you only ever take responsibility for your actions when you benefit from it! You leave everyone else to pick up the broken pieces while you run off to play hero!” All (Y/N) could see was red. “I had to take care of the fallout when you broke Adam’s heart! My best friend! Your fiance!”</p>
<p>“Don’t you dare bring him into this!” All of Shiro’s resolve disappeared, now replaced by rage.</p>
<p>“That’s enough!” The person with their hand on (Y/N)’s shoulder shouted over the two, breaking the latter’s ire-induced trance. (Y/N) turned their head to finally register Lotor with his hand on their shoulder.</p>
<p>“While you continue to squabble, sinister forces are conspiring to fill the Galra power void. If I do not return to claim the throne, there is no telling who will.” Lotor kept his voice level. “I know it is going to be difficult, but if we don’t act now, we are dooming ourselves to continue this war.”</p>
<p>“Good. Then it’s settled.” Shiro’s voice sounded strained as the Paladins were dismissed.</p>
<p>(Y/N)’s ears were still ringing by the time everyone else had left except for Lotor. His hand was still resting gently on their shoulder. They felt the mortification of what they had said climb through their mind like a vine that threatened to strangle them. They had messed up. They could vaguely register the fact that Lotor had said something, but they didn’t know what.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry. I need to go apologize to Shiro. What I said wasn’t okay.” They brushed Lotor’s hand off their shoulder as they turned to leave.</p>
<p>“Wait-” Lotor reached out for their hand, softly holding it in his grasp. “Are you alright? I’ve never seen you truly angry, and from the looks of the others, I don’t think they have either.”</p>
<p>(Y/N) looked at the floor in shame. “I’m fine.” It was an obvious lie, and they knew Lotor could see right through it.</p>
<p>“I don’t like it when people lie to me, (Y/N). But I can see that you do not want to talk about this, so I will leave this alone if you answer me one question.”</p>
<p>(Y/N) raised their face to look at the Galra. Were his eyes always that lovely of a pale blue? It reminded them of forget-me-nots.</p>
<p>“Do you truly see me as your friend?” Lotor’s voice was soft as he asked the question.</p>
<p>It took (Y/N) by surprise. “Of course I do.”</p>
<p>“Then, just as you said that you would be there for me if I needed someone, I’ll be there for you if you ever need someone to talk.” The Galra let go of (Y/N) hand. “This war has been unforgiving to all of us, but we must remain a collective unit if we are to finish it.”</p>
<p>“Thank you.” (Y/N) smiled at Lotor. “I’ll remember that. I should still go apologize to Shiro. I’ll see you later.” (Y/N) gave Lotor one last smile and a wave as they left the bridge to find Shiro. </p>
<p>They were still wandering the halls of the Castle looking for the Paladin. He hadn’t been in his room when they went to check. The only other place they could think that he could be was the training room.</p>
<p>As they walked up to the training room, they heard Allura call their name as she rounded the corner.</p>
<p>“Oh, hey, Allura.” (Y/N) gave her a sheepish smile. “I’m sorry about what happened . I’ve been looking for Shiro so I can apologize to him. I really messed up back there with what I said.”</p>
<p>“There was something happening on Olkarion and he went to check it out.” Allura smiled back. “And while I cannot speak for him, I’m sure he knows that you regret what happened.”</p>
<p>“I know.” (Y/N) sighed. “But I wouldn’t be surprised if he doesn’t want to talk to me when he gets back.”</p>
<p>“I’m sure it won’t come to that.” Allura reassured as she opened the doors to the training room.</p>
<p>The two entered the room and saw Lance, wielding a sword of some sort.</p>
<p>Allura looked happy as she approached the other Paladin. “I haven’t seen that for 10,000 years.”</p>
<p>Lance looked over his shoulder, surprised by the pair that had entered the room. “Allura! (Y/N)!”</p>
<p>“It’s an Altean broadsword.” The princess continued with a fond smile on her face. “My father used one just like it.”</p>
<p>Lance looked at the blade confused. “I have no idea how I did this.”</p>
<p>Allura smiled up at him. “I think your bayard has shown you what we’ve all been noticing. You have greatness within.”</p>
<p>“I agree.” (Y/N) walked up to the two of them. “I think you underestimate yourself.”</p>
<p>Lance scoffed. “I don’t think Shiro has noticed.”</p>
<p>(Y/N) wrung their hands together. “You’re not completely wrong about that. I haven’t really  been much help about that either, and what happened on the bridge was proof of that.”</p>
<p>“Shiro has been quite difficult lately.” Allura conceded. “I’m not sure what to do. We seem to constantly be at odds.”</p>
<p>“You guys are under a lot of pressure.” Lance reassured Allura. “Having Lotor around doesn’t help.” He paused, giving (Y/N) a cautious look. “No offence or anything.”</p>
<p>“It’s alright. I know you guys haven’t had any interactions with him since he got here. It’s perfectly normal for you guys to still be wary.” (Y/N) dispelled the other’s worry.</p>
<p>Allura seemed lost in her thoughts. “Sometimes it feels like it was easier to fight the Galra rather than to try to work with them.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You both have the Coalition’s best interests at heart. Don’t forget that. Shiro isn’t your enemy.” Lance comforted Allura.</p>
<p>He then turned to (Y/N). “And even if I don’t know exactly what happened back there with you and Shiro, I know you two are friends. You’ll get through this.”</p>
<p>Allura and (Y/N) gave Lance a warm smile.</p>
<p>“I think I speak for both of us when I say thank you, Lance.” The former spoke. “Speaking with you has actually made me feel better.”</p>
<p>Lance gave the two an over exaggerated suspicious look. “What do you mean ‘actually’?”</p>
<p>There was a small pause before the three broke into a fit of laughter and headed their separate ways.</p>
<p>(Y/N) sat in their lab, trying to think of the best way to apologize to Shiro when they felt a shudder run through the entire Castle along with an automated alert that the shield system had gone up. They ran to the control room, finding Coran, Matt, and Commander Holt all gathered. The latter two were looking at some data on one of the display screens.</p>
<p>“What’s going on?” They asked.</p>
<p>“The forest appears to have come alive and is attacking the city. Voltron is already working on taking down the cause.” Coran explained.</p>
<p>“Katie just sent us data on what seems to be a virus in the plants. We’re trying to figure out what we’re dealing with.” Commander Holt added.</p>
<p>“What about the civilians? Is there anything I can do?” (Y/N) furrowed their brow</p>
<p>Coran shook his head. “The plant growth is out of control. I’m not sure if it’s safe to go into the city until the main tree-mech is taken down.”</p>
<p>“Alright. I’ll be on stand-by until the situation has calmed down.” (Y/N) left the room and headed back to their lab to gather any medical equipment they might need.</p>
<p>Luckily there were no casualties by the time Votron neutralized the threat. The sun had set on the planet by the time (Y/N) had finished checking on the citizens of Olkarion. Hopefully it wasn’t too late for them to find Shiro.</p>
<p>They moved quickly through the familiar hallways of the Castle, searching for the Black Paladin. He wasn’t in his room, the training room, the dining room, or the control room. (Y/N) began to wonder if Shiro was purposefully avoiding them now, and they couldn’t blame him. (Y/N) let out a dejected sigh as they sat in their lab, finally having given up on finding Shiro for the night. The universe must have had a pretty fun sense of humor, as the moment they went to leave for their room to sleep, the door opened to the lab. </p>
<p>Shiro stood awkwardly at the entrance. “Hey, (Y/N). Lance said you wanted to talk to me about something.”</p>
<p>“Shiro, I didn’t think you were still up.” (Y/N) turned to face him and they felt the shame of their harsh words from before double back on their consciousness. “I just wanted to apologize for what I said earlier today. It was wrong, and I knew it was wrong when I said it.”</p>
<p>“I forgive you.” Shiro gave (Y/N) a reassuring smile. “I know you didn’t mean it-”</p>
<p>“But part of me did mean what I said.” (Y/N) cut him off, eyes fixed on the ground as they held back their tears. “And that’s what makes it even worse.”</p>
<p>The Paladin placed his hand on their shoulder, leading (Y/N) to sit down as the medic let the words pour out of their mouth.</p>
<p>“I know that you didn’t want to disappear, but you did- and it hurt so much.” (Y/N) couldn’t hold back their tears anymore. Everything they had bottled up from the results of the Kerberos Mission came pouring out with no chance of stopping. “After you left for the Kerberos Mission, Adam shut everyone out, and I blamed myself because I couldn’t do anything to help. And then the Garrison lost contact with your ship and everything got worse.” (Y/N) paused as sobs wracked their body. “And I bottled up all of that hurt and sadness because I knew you didn’t want to hurt any of us, but you did.”</p>
<p>Shiro wrapped his arms around (Y/N) in a tight hug. “I’m sorry. I knew I hurt you and Adam when I left, but I didn’t know just how much I did.”</p>
<p>The two sat there until (Y/N) ran out of tears, exhausted from the outpouring of emotions. They wiped the last of their tears away and gave Shiro one last hug before leaving to get some semblance of sleep. They were going to need as much of it that they could get with everything that seemed to be thrown at them these past few weeks.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>As I continue going though this, I keep needing to change the number of chapters to even out the weird pacing I had before. So don't be too surprised if the total number of chapters keeps changing as I continue writing.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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